When You're Lonely and Sad
by KooKoo 4 Kaiba
Summary: Everyone feels down every now and then. It's nice to have someone looking out for you when that happens, as Donatello soon discovers.


I was feeling pretty down a few days ago, so in an attempt to rid myself of that awful depressed feeling (which I rarely ever get), I tried to write a nice little hurt/comfort fic. Now, hurt/comfort is not my best field. I do better with pointless, silly stories, since that's how my life usually goes, so this might not be a work of art. I dearly hope it doesn't make you cringe. I apologize in advance if anyone is OOC, since someone probably is - especially in the beginning. Anyway, I hope that if you're having a bad day like I was a while ago, this will manage to cheer you up a bit. :)

Important note: I got the title from an awesome song by Keane called "A Heart to Hold You." It's a very nice, peaceful song that I think is very comforting.

Another important note: In the beginning of the story, Don is a little kid, but this isn't a chibi turtle fic! That's just a flashback-thingy. Wow, "flashback-thingy"? I'm so eloquent. XD

Disclaimer: I do not own TMNT. I actually don't think I used any other copyrighted material! However, if I did, I don't own it.

* * *

Donatello stared glumly at his dangling feet, which were slowly swinging back and forth. It was the middle of the night, and as the young turtle lifted his heavy head to stare up at the stars above him, he sighed despondently.

Yes, he was looking at the stars, which could only mean one thing: he had ventured above ground. The eight-year-old turtle knew perfectly well that this was strictly prohibited, but today he couldn't have cared less. Why? Because earlier that day, Donatello had run away from home.

This strange and eventful day for Don had actually started off like any other. He had eaten breakfast, trained in _ninjutsu_, and even played a bit with his brothers. However, things had started to go wrong when an invention he had been trying to fix had blown up in his face. The disappointment he had felt had been disheartening, but what had really upset him were the comments his older brother Raphael had made. Don could still hear the hurtful words echoing in his ears.

_"Heh, what kind o' genius are ya? The stupid kind? Come on! I could do better than that. Maybe ya should stick to readin' those lame books o' yours; at least you won't mess those up, ya useless moron! The only thing you're good for is a laugh, 'cuz you're so pathetic."_

Don didn't want to remember the rest of the remark, as the memory was still fresh and very painful. What he did remember, though, was running as fast as he could from the lair, trying to get as far away from Raph as possible. He had darted through the sewers and at some point even ventured to the surface. Though he had been topside a few times before, the trips had all been in secret. He was usually much more cautious when it came to these excursions, but his emotions had been in such a jumbled mess that he hadn't stopped to contemplate the risks. Upon reaching the surface, Donatello had made his way to where he found himself now: slowly rocking back and forth on a swing in one of New York City's many playgrounds.

The area was deserted, so the young turtle knew he was safe to mull over the day's events. Tears welled up in his eyes as he recalled everything Raphael had said to him once more. He sniffled miserably as he tried to see through the tears blurring his vision. "I...I'm not a moron, am I?" he squeaked quietly, his voice breaking occasionally. "I'm not useless." The tiny turtle let out a quiet sob, and the tears he had so desperately tried to hold in finally escaped and cascaded down his face. He rubbed his wet eyes with the backs of his hands, hoping that would prevent himself from crying. Don tried to hold in the next round of tears, but he only managed to sob even harder. He cried like this for a while until he was startled by a sudden interruption.

"My son, whatever is the matter?" asked a soft, familiar voice.

Donatello instantly jumped in his seat and wildly looked around for the one who had spoken. His eyes finally fell upon a gray figure standing by the entrance to the park. Don's blood instantly ran cold when his suspicions were confirmed and he saw who it was. "M-Master Splinter," he stuttered, his hands shaking uncontrollably. "I-I..."

Master Splinter held up his hand. "Donatello, calm yourself."

To the young turtle's great surprise, his father's voice carried no hints of anger or frustration. The only emotion Don could discern was worry mixed with his father's signature calming tone. Donatello didn't quite understand. How was his father not furious with him? He had run away from home and even gone to the surface, breaking the number one rule! Even though Master Splinter had not been there to hear Raphael's nasty comments, Don knew that the excuse wouldn't have mattered to him anyway. In all honesty, Don had previously thought he would be in a world of trouble, but his father seemed to welcome him with open arms. Was his father truly not angry with him? In all honesty, Master Splinter was rather displeased, but he knew better than to approach his upset son in anger, as that would only make the situation even worse. Considering the deer-in-the-headlights look on Don's face, Master Splinter decided he didn't want to know what "even worse" was.

Master Splinter took a few steps toward Donatello, who in turn averted his eyes and stared down at his feet as though they had each grown fifteen toes. The old rat sighed. "Donatello, look at me."

But Donatello did not look at him. Suddenly it seemed as though his toes had grown toes. Since his son was reluctant to obey him, Master Splinter took matters into his own hands. He walked up to Donatello and knelt down in front of him. Cupping his son's chin in his hand, Master Splinter tipped Don's head upward and forced the young turtle's bloodshot eyes to find his. "Donatello," the old rat said, staring up into his son's deep brown eyes, "tell me what is wrong."

Don sniffled and wiped his eyes again but still refused to speak. Master Splinter had an inkling as to what the problem was. "I promise that I am not angry with you. I was worried, yes, but not angry. Please tell me what is bothering you. I promise you will not be punished."

After a few moments of silence, Don finally felt ready to answer. "Really?" he squeaked. His wet eyes, which were large as plates, reflected the starlight brilliantly and sparkled as he stared into his father's eyes. "I-I d-disobeyed you!"

"That you did, but I am willing to forgive you if you explain what has happened," Master Splinter replied.

Don sniffled once more before answering. "I-I was trying to make a new invention, but it didn't work."

"Is that all?" Master Splinter inquired, rather skeptical that such a small blunder had pushed his calmest son to hysterics.

Don shook his head. "No, that's not the problem. When it didn't work, Raphie laughed at me and made fun of me and said I was useless and stupid and a moron!"

Master Splinter sighed. He would have to talk to Raphael about his behavior later. "My son, Raphael did not mean what he said."

"Yes he did! He's always making fun of me and calling me mean names. He's says that I'm worthless and that I don't belong, and he's never nice to me. I don't like it!"

"I know that Raphael may seem harsh at times, but he does love you. You do realize this, do you not?"

Don shook his head wearily, and the tears started to roll down his cheeks again. Master Splinter's heart broke into a thousand pieces as he noticed the pained expression of hopelessness on his young son's face. He wrapped his long arms around Donatello and patted his son's back comfortingly. "Hush now. It is not all that bad. You might not be able to see it now, but Raphael truly does care for you. You will see."

* * *

Eight Years Later...

* * *

Raphael raced across the rooftops of New York. He frantically turned his head this way and that, desperately searching the concrete jungle through the darkness of night. To make things even better, it had started raining not too long ago, and he was already soaked to the bone. It was very uncharacteristic of Raphael to be in such a frenzy, but he had a good reason to be so: his younger brother Donatello had run away from home, and it was all his fault. Raph had mocked, pressed, prodded, teased, and insulted his little brother relentlessly. This usually wouldn't have bothered Don in the slightest, as he had grown accustomed to such behavior, but Raph had pushed him too far this time. Raph honestly hadn't meant any harm, but the results of his unchecked actions had been much more severe than he had thought they would be. He could still remember the look of absolute pain in his brother's eyes before Don had calmly but also angrily left the lair.

_ "I should've known better!"_ Raph mentally scolded himself. Don had been especially sensitive ever since Master Splinter had passed away about a few weeks ago, as were they all, so Raph knew better than to push his luck. _"But what did I do? Exactly what I shouldn't have."_

As furious with himself as he was, Raph knew that the number-one priority at the moment was to find Don, not waste time scolding himself. However, he had no idea where his brainy brother was. As far as he knew, Don could be anywhere! But he was determined to find him, even if it took him all night.

Raph knew that Don wouldn't be drawn to the loud, busy part of the city like he was, so the hotheaded turtle made his way to the outskirts of town where it was quieter. He scanned the area from top to bottom, but there was still no sign of his brother. "C'mon, Donnie, where'd ya go?" Raph muttered under his breath.

Just when he was about to continue his search elsewhere, he spotted a figure slightly swaying back and forth on a swing in a nearby park. The person on the swing had a heavier build than most humans, which made Raphael think that it was not a human at all. Filled with renewed hope, he gracefully jumped down from the building he was on and darted to the entrance leading into the park.

Surely enough, there sat Donatello, dismally staring down at the ground. Raph, though relieved to have found him, was a bit confused as to why his brother was sitting on a swing. Deciding to set that mystery aside for the moment, Raph simply studied Don for a while. The more of his brother's despondent expression Raph saw, the more concerned he became. Noticing Don's bloodshot eyes, Raph wondered if the droplets of water running down his brother's cheeks were due to the rain. Whether they were or not, he hated seeing his younger brother in such a miserable state. Deciding to make his presence known, if it wasn't already, he took a few steps toward him. "Don! Boy, am I glad to see y-"

Raph stopped dead in his tracks when Don's eyes flickered up and looked into his. Raph was startled by how dead they seemed. He would have called them completely emotionless if not for the sadness that screamed at him through the veil of indifference Don's eyes tried to put up. Then, as quickly as he had raised his eyes, Don looked away and began to swing his legs nervously. The only sound was that of the chain squeaking as it slowly rocked Don back and forth.

"Uh, hi, Donnie. What are you doin' out here? You shouldn't be out in the rain. Ya know how easy ya get sick," Raph told his brother, though he honestly thought he sounded more like Leo than himself. However, he received no response from his brother, who just continued to half-heartedly swing his legs back and forth.

Raph was unsettled. Had he really upset his younger brother so much that he was unwilling to talk it out? This distressed Raph greatly, and he swore that he would get to the bottom of it all. First, however, he knew he had to apologize, as uncomfortable as it was for him to do. "Don, look, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have treated ya that way; it wasn't fair o' me. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings n' stuff, so, uh...can ya forgive me?"

This apology, which Raph thought he had so cleverly crafted, once again gained next to no response from Don. This concerned Raph even more. His peace-loving brother would usually jump at a chance like this to smooth things over, but this time he wasn't giving his usual reply of "I forgive you" or even acknowledging the fact that Raph had apologized at all, which was a marvel in itself. Raph furrowed his eye-ridges. "Don, what's wrong? I said I was sorry." Just as before, this didn't provoke any reply from Don. "C'mon, Donnie, I-"

"Raph, just go away," Don interrupted in a voice as tough as steel.

Raph just about jumped at the force behind the words. He was so used to hearing Don's usual calm, comforting tone instead of this harsh, cold version. However, he was unwilling to leave his brother when he was so obviously upset. He remained just where he stood and crossed his arms to further his point.

"Raph, I told you to go, so go," Don urged.

"No," Raph replied, standing his ground. "I wanna know what's botherin' ya, n' I will."

Don sighed as though doing so might relieve all his worries – which it didn't, but nevertheless it made him feel a tiny bit better. "Raph, why won't you just leave me alone?" This time his voice sounded weary instead of icy, but that didn't mean he was any less upset.

Deeming it safe to approach his brother, as it didn't seem like he had any more to say, Raph took a seat on the swing next to Don's. "Because you're my brother, and as cheesy n' stupid as it sounds, I care about ya." Raph let a moment of silence pass before he continued with his speech. "I know that things are hard without...Master Splinter here, but...like Leo's said, we have to get on."

This was apparently the wrong thing to say, because it sent Don into a fit of rage. "Don't tell me to just move on!" Don yelled. "I know that he's gone! I know he's not coming back! I don't need you to tell me these things!"

If he had been thinking logically, Raph would have just remained silent. However, he wasn't, so he stood up from his seat and yelled back, "Ya know what? I think ya do, ya useless moron!"

Don's eyes widened and stared at Raph in absolute shock and hurt. Don was so stunned by the words which had haunted him years ago that he became silent once more and returned his gaze to the ground. Raph immediately face-palmed himself and cursed under his breath. _"Oh crap. Way to go, idiot,"_ he thought, plopping back down on his swing. _"That was probably the best apology you've ever done. Great job. Reeeaaally great. Insulting people really comes across as considerate. He's just _bound_ to open up to you now."_

One more glance at his younger brother told Raph just how hurtful his words had been. "Gosh, Don, I'm sorry. I...I dunno what came over me, but I-"

"No, you're right," Don whispered just loudly enough for his brother to hear.

Raph blinked. He blinked again. Just for good measure, he blinked one more time. "Say what?"

"I said, 'You're right.'" This time his words were louder, but they were weighed down by grief.

"What? No! No, you got it all wrong. I'm not right, ok, Donnie? You're not useless and you're not a moron. _I'm_ the moron. Look, I...I'm no good at these things, but I think I'm decent enough to knock the sense back into ya. You're the smartest person I know, ok? You're the smartest person I've _ever_ known. Would the smartest person I've ever known be a moron?"

Don reluctantly shook his head.

"There ya go! And where the hell did ya get the idea that you were useless? Like, what the hell, Donnie? Without you, we'd be dead! Besides, you're my brother. You are _never_ useless, and you never have been, so stop sellin' yourself short. Would I have come runnin' after ya if I didn't care about ya?"

Don slowly shook his head again.

"My point exactly! I know I'm no Master Splinter or Leo when it comes to 'healing' your problems, and I'm no Mikey either when it comes to cheerin' ya up, but I'm doin' the best I can, Donnie. We're all doin' the best we can to get through this, and for you to say that I need to rub it in your face that our father's gone is just...ridiculous."

Don didn't know what stunned him more: Raph's hurtful words before or his speech just now. His big brother had never spoken so eloquently about his feelings before, and, as strange as it seemed, he was actually beginning to feel better because of the outburst. Don finally worked up the courage to let his eyes venture up to meet Raph's. "Really?"

Raph sighed. "_Really_? Of course."

"Th-Thanks, Raph."

"Don't mention it. You're my bro; I'm always there for ya when ya need me." The two shared a meaningful glance before Raph seemed to remember something important and said, "Oh, ya never answered my question before. What _are_ ya doin' here?"

A sad, nostalgic smiled appeared on Don's face. "When we were little, Master Splinter let me come here if I was ever upset. I haven't come here in a very long time, but being here now...it makes me feel like maybe he's still here. It makes me not miss him so much, you know?"

Raph could feel his heart die as he looked at the gut-wrenching expression on Don's face. There was nothing more torturous than seeing him in such agony. Although Raph knew it was hard after such a terrible loss, it would set his heart at ease to see his brother even the slightest bit more cheerful again.

After deciding what needed to be done, Raph stood up and walked behind his brother's swing. Don peered at him curiously. "Raph, what are you – ah!"

Raph smirked as he pushed on his brother's back, propelling him and his swing forward. When the swing came back his way with Don still on it, Raph shoved his brother again, sending him and even higher.

Don giggled a bit. "Raph, what are you doing? S-Stop it!" he exclaimed, but there was no force behind his words. He laughed some more as Raph pushed him even higher. As he flew through the air, all his previous worries seemed to float away, and all that was left was the happiness he felt from being with his brother.

Raph grinned playfully as he watched Don smile and giggle as he swung back and forth. Though things were still going to be very tough, they were certainly looking a lot brighter.

* * *

"So, Raphie really _does_ care about me?" Don asked in a small, pitiful voice.

"Of course he does," Master Splinter assured his little eight-year-old son. He wiped Don's tears away with his nimble fingers and then set his hands on his son's small shoulders. "He cares about you very much and he always will. Never forget that, Donatello. No matter what foul words come out of his mouth or how indifferent he may seem, he is your brother and he will be there for you whenever you need him to be."

Don smiled a bit at his father's comforting words. "You sure?"

"Perfectly. Now come; it is time for us to go home."

"Ok."

Master Splinter helped his small son slide off the swing. He looked lovingly at Donatello, who had visibly calmed after coming to the realization that his brother really wasn't as mean as he had previously seemed. After sharing one more smile, the two joined hands and stepped forward together, embarking on their journey home.

* * *

Heh, I just love making Master Splinter die in my stories. XD What's this, the second time? Sheesh. I need to come up with another plot topic. Also, I know that what made Don blow up might not seem all too serious, but eight-year-olds can be very sensitive, no matter how tough they try to be. So watch what you say to them, ok? Great, now I'm giving lectures; my mom's rubbing off on me too much. XD Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed the story! I had a pretty nice time writing it. :)

~Kooks


End file.
